


Thinking About Us

by JJ1564



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Brothers, Gen, Men of Letters, POV Dean Winchester, Plans For The Future, Post-Finale, Post-Season/Series 12, Sad Dean, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 03:03:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11072730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJ1564/pseuds/JJ1564
Summary: Dean’s been thinking about the future – about what he wants to do and what he thinks Sam should do. He just needs to tell Sam now.A/N:This isn't what I want to see, as I think they are always better together. It's just one possible future for them, inspired by the prompt “I've been doing some thinking recently” from spankedbyspike’s  prompt table on LJ. Thanks so much milly_gal for your beta help, especially with Crowley, hee hee!Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and will not profit from using them here.





	Thinking About Us

I’m staring out at the lake, but I’m not really seeing anything. I’m so fucking tired, I’ve not really slept since...since it all happened. Since we lost Mom. Since Crowley killed himself. And...and since Lucifer killed Castiel right in front of us. Since Jack turned out not to be a sweet little baby, but a full-grown boy. Since Jack had disappeared, along with Cas’s body.

Sam thinks that’s a hopeful sign, thinks that Jack will use his powers to bring Cas back and that Cas will raise him to be a good little Nephilim. I hope he’s right.

Holy crap, our lives have always been weird but this is the weirdest shit yet. Is weirdest even a word?

“You okay there?” Sam asks.

“Hmm,” I sip my beer and continue to gaze out at the lake. I need to speak to Sam, I need to get this fucking weight off of my chest somehow.

“You look like roadkill.” Sam glances over at me.

“Right back atcha.” I reply automatically. Then I realise I haven’t really looked at Sam since...everything happened, so I look at him and I’m kinda surprised to see that he looks okay.

“I’m doing better than you, I think.” Sam tells me. “We’ll get mom back, she’s strong, she’s resourceful, she’ll make it. And you never know, perhaps Bobby will help her.”

“Yeah,” I agree, trying to sound convinced.

“And Cas...Cas will be fine. Jack took his body for a reason...” Sam continues.

“Sam, stop.” I turn to look right at Sam. “We’ve been over all this so many times. We’ve got no guarantees that Mom or Cas are alive, or that we’ll ever see ‘em again.”

“We have to...”

“Sam, please.” I stop him before he can go on, offering false hope. “I need to talk to you about something else. I need - I have to tell you - you were amazing, leading that ragtag band of hunters against the Brits.”

Sam’s mouth drops open in a surprised ‘O’.

“I don’t tell you enough how proud I am of you.” I confess. “I've been doing some thinking recently. Well, a lot of thinking. Thinking about us. Our future.”

“Okay, you’ve got me worried.” Sam frowns at me – probably just the novelty of me actually wanting to talk has already freaked him out. “What do you mean, about us and our future?”

“I don’t want this any more.” I shrug. “All this shit. I’ve had it. I’m done.”

“It’s not surprising, after all that’s happened...”

“Exactly. So much has happened to us, Sammy. Too damned much. I ain’t even gonna start listing all the crap that has joined up to make the crapshow of our lives.” Fuck, I’m probably making no sense. This is why I avoid talking. “But this...getting Mom back just to lose her, just to know she’s stuck in that place with him...and then losing Cas too...” I run my hands over my face, trying to stop the tears that are stinging my eyes. I’m not gonna cry. I can’t cry. I need to say this. “I don’t want this any more, not for me. But I think – I think you should start up a new Men of Letters chapter, you’re a brilliant leader, you’re smart, you’re great at research...”

“But what would you do?” Sam asks, looking both intrigued and hurt.

“Me?” I shrug again. “Hunt. Normal stuff.” I laugh at how absurd that sounds. “I’m happiest on the road, hunting down some ghoul or vamp or ‘shifter.”

“There aren’t any vamps left.” Sam says, and I swear there’s regret in his voice..

“You really believe that?” I ask, surprised. “Because I don’t believe a single fucking word the Brits told us.”

“I don’t know what to believe any more.” Sam sighs. “Do you mean you want us to...to split up?”

He makes it sound like a divorce; in some ways it is, and in a lot of ways it would be worse. “No, I just need to get back to what I’m good at. Leave all the tactical shit to you. “

“Dean, you’re always putting yourself down, like you’re just some mindless grunt. You’re smart, smarter than me. We’d have suffocated in the Bunker with Angry Spice if not for you.”

“I just wanted to use the Grenade Launcher.” I grin, but Sam looks pissed now.

“Stop doing that.” Sam hisses.

“Okay, sorry. But hear me out. We get Mom back, Cas too, if we can. We hook up with all the Hunters we know, the ones that are left after the fucking Brits killing spree, anyway.” I feel hot tears in my eyes again but they’re angry ones this time.

“Go on.” Sam coaxes.

“We’ll see who wants to join up and become an American Person of Letters. I’m thinking Jody for sure, and Claire when she’s older. It’ll be better than the Brit version ‘cause it will have the goal of working together to hunt monsters and the next big bad, not to just turn hunters into trained killers.”

“Sounds like a good plan, but why can’t you run it with me?”

“I will, kinda. I’ll be around but I need to get out there on the road, with my Baby. And you, when you can spare the time. Mom can work with you, or me, or both of us. Or she can go off on her own.” I pause – neither of us needs to mention that this worked out very badly last time. “But I want a simpler kinda life, Sammy. No more working with demons or angels, no more saving the fucking world. I’ve had it.”

“You know how ridiculous that sounds?” Sam smiles sadly at me. “And if we don’t save the world, who will?”

“You will, Sammy. You and the APoL’s.”

“APoL’s?”

“Yeah, got a good ring to it, don’t it?”

Sam grins. “Does everything have to get back to pie with you?”

“Yeah, most things.”

“Dean, this is a great plan, I love the whole idea of the APoL’s, but I won’t do it without you. I can’t.”

“I’m not leaving, Sam, just stepping back.” 

Letting you grow. Letting you be all you should be. I’m not gonna be your mother and father any more, just your brother. Hell, I wish I could say these things aloud, but Sam would think I’d been possessed. 

“I’ll be around, all the time. Gotta make sure you eat properly and don’t try to live on kale smoothies alone.” I wrinkle my nose in disgust.

“Okay. We’ll save Mom, find Cas, then set up the APoL’s.” Sam nods his head, decision made, like it’s all gonna be so easy. He almost makes me believe it will be. 

“You’ve got to the core of the matter.” I can’t resist it.

“It’s a very a-peeling plan.” Sam replies, deadpan.

“The pie’s the limit.” I add.

“Enough!” Sam smiles.

“Yeah, it is.” I smile back at him.

Perhaps tonight I’ll sleep.


End file.
